A Bishop's Journey: The Rt. Rev. Howe's first 20 years in Cen. Fla.

Dear Diocesan Family,

What a lovely "present" Joe Thoma and Beatrice Wilder have given me in the "Special Section" of the current Central Florida Episcopalian! (Click here to access a PDF copy of the section.) I had no idea this was forthcoming: a commemoration of the past twenty years of my being your Bishop. It has been the highlight of my life, and I thank you all for it.

    Just the other day I came across some notes Karen kept during the days leading up to my election and consecration. I think they were part of a talk she gave somewhere shortly after we arrived in Central Florida, They amazed me at the time, they amaze me still. I am delighted to share them with you.

    Thank you for two decades of life and ministry together.

Warmest regards in our Lord,

John W. Howe, Bishop

Four years ago (1985) John came to a conference here in Orlando – actually, at All Saints, Winter Park. During that Conference, the Lord spoke to him in a powerful way, and he was convinced that God was calling him to be a bishop. It was such a dynamic experience he left the conference early. He let his name go forward in episcopal elections in New Hampshire and California, but in neither case did he feel a real sense of it being God's will. In fact, we prayed and fasted during the NH election that he wouldn't get elected, and he pulled his name out when there was a deadlock in the California race. You need to know that while we began to believe it was God's will for John to be a bishop, it was another, much more difficult, matter to figure out WHERE God wanted him to be a bishop.

Let me read to you a few excerpts from my spiritual journal of a year ago, so you can have a sense of what we went through during this election.           

Sept. 3, 1988: John is on the short list in Central  Florida.  He reminded me this morning about Bill Bailey's vision, back in 1979, of John with a rochette and chimere, dressed as a bishop.

Sept. 5, 1988: I read this morning, “The levites left their land … and came to … Judah and Jerusalem … they strengthened the kingdom.” We want to strengthen the Episcopal kingdom. Maybe Florida is the place.

Sept. 7: Mary Ailes came to work this morning and said she had a dream last night. John was being honored at a great ceremony, but it was in a big place that looked like an art gallery or something. There were escalators and paintings on the wall, She was very depressed over it.

Sept. 9: At the renewal conference this weekend, a lady in John's seminar said she had a vision of his shirt changing to purple while he was teaching, I don't trust in other people's visions much, but we seem to be having a rash of them.

Oct. 1: I had a really weird dream. We were in a huge house, but it was collapsing. There were rafters down, holes in the roof. John was working earnestly an one little section of a wall, trying to make it perfect. I told him to stop worrying about that little corner, we had to get to the roof so we could assess the damage. It was difficult, but we finally got up there -- and it was wonderful and peaceful. He could see everything, and it didn't seem so awful. There were people up there, sitting in rockers and singing renewal songs – and every one of them was someone I’d known from Florida. Is that prophetic or what!

Oct. 20: We're weeping together over this election. We don't want to leave Kathy and Chuck, or the lake house, or Truro. John is worried about the salary, and the fact that God hasn't given us an absolutely clear word. I love it here. I don't want to leave my job. We've got plans for next year's sabbatical -- and he needs the rest so badly. We're both scared, that's what.

Oct. 21: Got two encouraging words: “The most high rules in the kingdom of men and gives it to whom he will." (Dan. 4:25) and "It is not from the east or the west that comes promotion, but it is God who executes judgment, putting down one and lifting up another." I guess that means God's in charge of this election and our lives. If we're “promoted" – and I'm not sure it really would be a promotion at all -- it will be from him.

Dec. 6: We just got back from the "dog and pony show" in Central Florida. Everything went wrong. I lost two buttons, broke one of my new acrylic nails and went around looking like a four-fingered idiot so no one would see that poor bare finger, At a dinner for the candidates I got locked in Chris Folwell's bathroom. I pounded on the door and yelled, but no one even knew I was gone. I finally fell on my knees and prayed, and that stupid door opened right away.

I got sick and couldn't go to the last visitation. John found out that the salary is a third less than he's making now, and he's scared that we won't survive. We have visions of having to camp out on some deserted Orlando beach (does Orlando have beaches?).

Dec. 7: Last night John decided to withdraw rather than put us all through this, He's scared of making a mistake. The phrase "bind the sacrifice to the horns of the altar" keeps running through my mind. I am praying and fasting that John will get back into this election and trust God to speak through it. I can't bear the thought of missing God's will and wondering about it for the rest of our lives.

Dec. 8: Last night with agony of soul John humiliated himself beyond imagining and put his name back in, after a tearful talk with Bishop Lee. I feel a great relief. This has reduced his chances of election, but that's OK. He has offered up all he has and nailed it to the altar. He has vowed never gain to run for episcopal office, so if he's called to be a bishop, it's going to have to be in Central Florida.

Dec. 10: John got a personal Bible verse from the Lord today: 2 Chron. 35:2. “He appointed the priests to their offices and encouraged them in the service of the House of the Lord. That’s just what bishops do. That’s the first Bible verse he’s gotten to confirm things. Thank you, Lord. I guess now we just wait and pray. I really believe this is going to happen.

Dec. 12. Election day. This was the most unbelievable day I've ever lived through. The entire family spent from 9 to 5:30 attending the CF election. I was fasting. We played Pictionary and the kids made an election chart so we could record scores. Every time the phone rang, Tom Bates would tell us how things were going, and I thought I'd throw up I was so nervous.

As it began, John was fearful, negative, sad. As his score inched ahead, he got more and more positive, interested, confident. By tonight he really seemed bishoppy. All day my great fear was that God couldn’t pull it off and I’d be left with a ton of unfulfilled prophesies and promises and prayers. That would throw my spiritual life into chaos for years.

But God did it. He was faithful, he made straight paths for our feet, he didn’t let us miss out on his plan for our lives.

It's going to turn out alright, because we trusted him, and died to everything in the world that we hold dear.

What's really neat is that three years ago Presiding Bishop Ed Browning scheduled his Truro visit for tomorrow morning. That was God at work. We’re having supper with Bishop Browning tonight. He's preaching tomorrow, not Johnny -- so he can tell the Truro folks about the election. There is no way John could get through that without tears. What an honor, what a gift.

April 15: Today Johnny was consecrated. It was glorious. Mary Ailes came down from Truro. She ran up to me with tears in her eyes, and dragged me to a balcony. "Remember my dream? I was standing right here, looking down. Look at the escalators! Whoever heard of a church with escalators? Doesn't it look like an art gallery? I needed this. John is really meant to be here, and I needed to know that for sure."